Oingles The Blog

Ryanair: Was that English?

Posted on: July 13, 2011

I recently had my first experience with a ”low-cost” airline, the one in question was Ryanair, which is Europe’s equivelant of Southwest, but they are considerably cheaper and considerably less helpful. Even so I decided to ignore the terrible press that they get and fly with them regardless. Fortunately I have a good sense of humour, and that is why I found the following shambles amusing:

Ryanair do not offer check-in at the airport, therefore it must be done online with the boarding passes printed on a standard printer. I liked this. We just rolled up at the airport, walked straight to the security area and went through to departures.
Ryanair: +1 point.

The time came to board the flight, although Ryanair doesn’t allocate seats we had purchased Priority Boarding and therefore stood in a seperate queue to the other 150 passengers (all of whom faught a free-for-all to get seats with their partners). Getting on the plane was simple enough. And the seats were surprisingly spacious.
Ryanair: +1 point.

Ladees ant gentlyman your safda is are mine concert. Please par cluse tension three the flowing security appraisal.
The rest of the safety presentation was completely un-understandable, and looking around me I could see I wasn’t the only person struggling to comprehend what was being said. In fact, I understood a considerable amount more of the safety instructions when they were repeated in Spanish on a pre-recorded track afterwards. I have to wonder… is this safe for the people who only speak English? What if they’ve never been on an aeroplane before… how would they know what to do?
Ryanair: -6 points.

The rest of the flight…
WAS A DISASTER. I some came to recognise a young, chubby Portuguese lad called Joao as the only member of cabin crew with any useful level of English, and he was clearly being BULLLIED by the other cabin crew (oh yes, you read that right, bullied). He got shouted at a number of times for calling Pepsi, Coke. At one point he had a portable calculator snatched from his hands, used, and thrown back at him. The last straw came when a Spanish hostess shouted clearly to her friend ”Joao, el gordo!” (Joao, the fat one!) which I assume he understood as he proceeded to storm to the back oh the plane, teeth bared and red cheeked. I didn’t know whether I should stand up and defend him, or take it in my stride like the other passengers who clearly expected this type of behaviour.
Ryanair: -20 points (although Joao gets full marks)

To conclude?
Ryanair: -24 points.
I will NEVER fly with Ryanair again, although it was funny the first time I would find it disgusting to get back on  one of their planes and find that type of service to be the norm.

Have any of you had the same type of experience as this? Not necesarilly a civil war between the cabin crew but perhaps crappy service on board? Or have you had good experiences, perhaps I would give them the benefit of the doubt is I was just unlucky!

Well there you go, the story of my travels.
Jamie xx.


3 Responses to "Ryanair: Was that English?"

OMG that was terrible…. xD Ws tehre an turbulance?! If so, I’d complain!!! XD


Well, just because you are classy enough to fly Easyjet nelson 😉

Poor “El Gordo” i mean Joao. See the bright side of it, you already know their service is horrible and you will never buy anything from them again (if they start selling other stuff besides plane tickets, like wrapped tacos or something…..errr….). By the way i loved the way you wrote this, you have potential my friend, you gained yourself a follower today. Nice work.

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